Nine Years in Memories.

Buck and I celebrate nine years of marriage today -- wow!  So exciting, and I'm so proud of where we are as a couple nine years after saying "I do".  But, it also makes me feel old.  How have we been married nine years?  And, where, might I ask, have those years gone?

I thought we'd take a trip down memory lane -- my favorite memories from the last almost decade.

Year One:  Buck has always done this sweet thing where he squeezes my hand three times to reassure me, calm me down, remind me he's by my side.  When we joined hands in the church on our wedding day after my dad gave him my hand in marriage, Buck did the same sweet gesture.  I apparently was so nervous and caught up in the wedding that I didn't notice at first -- he had to repeat the gesture.  And, I gave him a squeeze back in return.  While I don't remember all the details of our wedding day, I remember this one and know I always will.  Nothing like the feeling of knowing Buck's by my side.

Year Two:  While we did become parents to our first born four legged friend Hank our second year of marriage (and I'm sure that's what sticks out in Buck's mind), it's not the memory I hold most dear.  While certainly not an exciting memory, I remember vividly the long talks Buck and I had that year about choosing which law firm I would join as an associate.  I know, blah blah blah.  But, in my life it was a huge decision -- I was torn.  And, it was the first big decision I made as a married woman; relying only on Buck and his guidance as opposed to running everything by my parents.  He proved to be a loving, patient and thoughtful sounding board and definitely steered me in the right direction.

Year Three:  This year of marriage found me working as a first year associate in a law firm and Buck commuting back and forth to Tuscaloosa for his third year of law school.  He had a couple night classes and I remember attempting to wait up for his safe arrival home.  Though many a night he would find me asleep on the couch.  It was the beginning of my worrying about his well-being and it felt very wife-like.  If I know Buck is on his way home or due home, I simply cannot go to sleep until he arrives.  It doesn't matter how late it is or how tired I am.  I need to know he's here.

Year Four:  Buck and Belle move into our forever house!  What an exciting time -- and so funny now to think back about discussions of which bedroom would be our first child's, where we would put toys, etc.  This house is filled with so many awesome memories.  We moved on Iron Bowl Saturday...Buck made sure the television was set up ASAP and watched the game while I unloaded dishes.  If I remember correctly, the game turned sour and he resumed his husband moving duties.

Year Five:  Days before our fifth anniversary (on Memorial Day of 2008) we found out we were pregnant with our first child.  It was definitely something we planned for and planned on, but I think the emotions of learning we were pregnant got the best of both of us.  We were overwhelmed -- and thrilled.  But overwhelmed.  I remember the day we found out (after I presented Buck with a sweet note and the pregnancy test) Buck said, "Let's take the dogs on a walk."  He simply needed to clear his head and get a grasp on the enormity of the news.  The look on his face was priceless.

Year Six:  Fawn's birth and becoming parents was obviously the highlight of the year, but finding out Fawn was a "he" ranks right up there in my favorite days of marriage.  Buck was insistent that we find out the gender of our first baby.  I was indifferent.  While I was excited to know, I also would have been fine with the gender being a surprise.  The morning of our ultrasound, I went on a walk thinking about how the news we got would really change our lives...would it be ballet and cheerleading or baseball and hunting?  I knew that Buck had his heart set on a little boy -- and frankly I was worried he would be disappointed at first if we were having a girl.  Not that I doubted for a moment his ability to love or parent a girl.  But, his heart longed for a boy.  While we were waiting for the ultrasound tech to take measurements my heart was literally pounding out of my chest.  When she typed "BOY!!!" on the screen, Buck's arms automatically raised in the football touchdown signal.  I kid you not.  HE. WAS. THRILLED.  We went out to dinner that night as planned to celebrate our news and then went to pick our son out an outfit.  Buck picked out a onesie that said "Chicks Dig Me."  I was thinking smocked bubble, but got trumped.

Year Seven:  Buck and I took our first trip post-baby.  We went to the beach for four days.  Not a long trip.  Not an exotic trip.  But a trip to signify that we are still a we despite the wee ones in our lives.  I was terrified to leave Fawn.  I had never left him overnight.  But, by the time our car hit Montgomery I was relishing in our togetherness and our freedom from parental responsibilities if only for a few days.  We had a wonderful time and it gave me the push I needed to do a better job carving out time for our marriage from our busy roles as parents.

Year Eight:  We both turned thirty!  And, in between our birthdays, we spent a long weekend at The Grand Hotel in Fairhope, Alabama.  Buck had to be there for a work meeting and we turned it into a long weekend away.  I love The Grand Hotel.  I spent several summer vacations there as a child and have very fond memories of my time there.  It was wonderful to be there with Buck and to have a grown-up getaway.  We went to Wintzell's Oyster House one night for dinner and it was one of the most fun date nights we have ever had. 

Year Nine:  Small Fry arrived -- which if you read this blog you will know is a memory that will never, ever leave me.  I had built up in my mind the moment when Buck would announce our baby's gender at his or her birth.  That didn't happen because we didn't have time to tell the doctor that we wanted Buck to share the news.  When she started with "A little..." I wanted to scream "Stop!" and my heart sunk just a tad.  That is, it sunk in the split second I realized that my plan was not being followed to a "T".  But then I heard "A little boy!" and I saw Buck's face.  The sweetest smile -- and a squeeze of my hand.  HE. WAS. THRILLED.  And, the smile and squeeze spoke volumes -- definitely more than three simple words could have. 

Buck, I love you "to infinity and beyond" (as we now say in our Toy Story-loving house).  Happy Anniversary!  It's a blessing to be your wife and make memories with you!

Sandestin 2012.

Buck and I took the kiddos to Sandestin for four fun-filled days this May.  Buck had a work conference to attend and I knew we needed to make a family excursion out of it with Fawn loving the beach so much.  Buck had the foresight to suggest that we invite my parents to join us -- since he was going to be in work meetings much of the waking hours, he thought it would be easier (not to mention safer!) for me to have some assistance with the boys.  They obliged and were wonderful help.  We couldn't have done it without them!

Though we were only there for four days, we packed in the beach fun.  The weather was gorgeous and not too hot.  Definitely much more enjoyable than a July or August trip to the beach.  Each morning and afternoon we made it to the beach and pool.  If you've never traveled to the beach with small children, you have no idea just how much of a feat this is!  We also made it to the Sandestin playground, the tree houses, went fishing and flew kites. 

Fawn was such a happy camper!  We had a great, panoramic view of the Gulf and when we were inside the condo, Fawn loved just enjoying the view.  A boy after his mama's heart.  Small Fry continued to be his happy-go-lucky, compliant self, though he wasn't a fan of the sun and heat.  He loved the sound of the waves and the wind, though and was happy to be curled up in my lap on the sand.  I used my nursing cover as a sun cover of sorts which made him much happier!

Buck and I came home exhausted, but I am learning that it's just par for the course when you travel with little ones.  The smile on Fawn's face as he explored the beach was well worth any tiredness on our part.  We definitely need to plan another trip soon.

Attempting to fly kites from the Dollar Store (shockingly they were of questionable quality).

Sweet boy just loved to run barefoot in the sand.  Wore himself out.

Buck took Fawn out in the water kayak.  Made me nervous, but Fawn did great.

Belle and Small Fry just hanging out.

Best attempt at family photo.

Fawn loved the pool.

Last Day of School.

As if time didn't seem to be flying by anyway, Fawn completed his first year of preschool!  I cannot believe the year is over.  It feels like just yesterday that I was sitting at parent orientation, excited about what lay ahead for Fawn but also anxious about how he would adjust.  It was a wonderful year for him.  I couldn't be more pleased with the precious school he attends.  The teachers were beyond wonderful, and Fawn has matured so much and made some great friends.  Lucky for me, I made great friends too with some of the other mommies.  They add as much joy and companionship to my life as Fawn's friends add to his -- we are doubly blessed!

Dropping Fawn off the first day he seemed like such a baby (he was!), and now he is such a big boy.  I remember him clutched to my hand as we walked down the hall to his classroom.  How nervous he was when carpool began and he would leave the car without me.  How eager he was to jump into my arms when I arrived to pick him up.  By the end of the year, he happily exited my car (instead of having to be pried off by the sweet teachers).  On days I did walk him in, he would bravely walk most of the way himself and wave me goodbye.  And, if there was still fun to be had in the classroom when I arrived at the end of the day, he was assertively tell me that he wasn't quite done yet and could I please just wait for him.

He's learned how to play with his peers and how to make friends.  And, he's learned about the Lord.  He can recite Bible verses, tell me Bible stories, and sing spiritual songs.  It is just precious and a great foundation to build on.  And when Fawn's world got turned upside down by Small Fry's arrival, school was such a great constant -- a place that had nothing to do with our newest addition.

I am so excited to spend the summer with Fawn -- to not have an agenda or somewhere to be by 9 am.  But, I know he'll miss school and be so excited to return in September.

Excited for his last day of school!

Fawn's Friday Funnies.

Sorry for the blogging hiatus! We enjoyed four days at the beach this week...details and pictures to follow soon. And, Small Fry has decided to basically not sleep at all. He's been busting out of his swaddle so he's trying to learn how to stay settled without being my precious prisoner. Needless to say, it is a learning process. And in the meantime baby and mommy are up almost hourly. I would give almost anything for some caffeine. But I know this is just a season of life. There will be plenty of time for sleep later. Hopefully he will be doing much better by his four-month update!

Fawn has been up to his usual antics. Always a bright spot and such a funny little guy!!

We are really working on our letters and he likes to find the letters in his name in books or on signs or pictures. Fawn goes by his given middle name - not his first name. One of his favorite letters is in his first name but not middle name so I tried to explain that he did indeed have that letter. He was having none of it and has been walking around saying "I'm not (insert name)". It's pretty funny, but totally understandable.

Fawn is still curious about mommy and daddy's relationship and now repeats that we are married. But he has no clue what that means. He asked me if he would get married. I said that I hoped so. Then he asked me when he would get married. I said when he was a grown man, had finished school and had a job. (As an aside, he asked if his job could be eating food. I gave him examples of jobs he could possibly do. His response was that he didn't need one of those jobs, he would just work at the farm.) Then he asked me if he would still be a boy when he got married or if he would turn into a girl. I told him that he would still be a boy. Then I tried to explain that he was born a boy and would always be a boy. His response, "I wasn't born a boy, mommy. I was born a baby." Point taken. Then being his sweet self he said when he married a girl he would marry me. Melt my heart.

And he has a new favorite perch. Who needs a double stroller?

Fawn's Friday Funnies.

This kid continues to be hilarious, so I'm implementing a weekly column until I reach a week where he doesn't give me any funny material.  This week, though, he didn't disappoint.

We were at Triangle Park and Fawn was playing on the jungle gym while I fed Small Fry sitting at a picnic table.  I started chatting with another mommy who was also there with her son.  When Fawn realized I was talking to someone he came running toward me screaming "It's a stranger!  It's a stranger!  Don't talk to strangers mommy!"  I tried to explain that I was an adult and he's a kid and I can talk to people I don't know but I think I just confused the kid more.  We've been working on stranger danger with Fawn, but I'm not sure we're doing a great job based on the incident at the park.  Also, Fawn is now terrified of the Publix workers who offer to push the groceries out to your car.  He totally freaks and insists that he get out of the cart before the stranger pushes the cart.  Hmmm....

Fawn was really sweet to Small Fry and I told him he was such a good boy.  He responded.  "Mommy, you are such a good mommy because you do everything I say."  I laughed out loud.  And then reconsidered my parenting tactics.  And then told Fawn he was the funniest person I knew.

Fawn is starting to be more aware of my relationship with Buck -- so we've been saying "Mommy is my wife" and "Daddy is my husband."  Totally unprevoked, Fawn looked up at me while we were reading books and said "Mommy, Daddy is not your husband.  He's your cousin."  Please, Fawn, do not spread that rumor. 

Somebody Else Turned 31.

I'd like to say it wasn't me (in my head I'm still a teenager), but it was.  We celebrated at my parents' house with my brother and his wife and my grandparents.  My dad cooked his famous fish tacos and my mom kept order in the kitchen (which is a job in and of itself with my dad), handled the fixings and made a yummy blueberry crumble for dessert.  It was a great night and a perfect way to celebrate with a three year old and baby.

My boys and me on my birthday -- what precious gifts!

This is why man to man defense is so important.

There's Fawn's sweet smile.



I hope I remember Fawn's sweet voice singing me happy birthday -- and helping me blow out my candles (Mom mercifully gave me only three).  And, I hope I remember Fawn's excitement in giving me my gift.  Pink camo sunglasses.  Enough said.

Month Three Recap.

Once again, we did this month's picture sans Fawn.  He was at school and it was much easier, much calmer.  But, I have to brag on Fawn -- he is embracing his role as big brother more and more each day.  It is precious and I hope is planting the seeds of a lifelong friendship between my boys.  I know I can't force my kids to be friends -- or, frankly, even like each other.  But, I pray they will be buddies and each other's biggest supporter (besides Buck and me and their future wives, of course!).  I only have one sibling -- a brother.  Growing up my dad told us when we were arguing or not getting along that we needed to be nice to each other because we understood each other more than any other person in the world could understand us.  Not only did we share genetics, but we shared an upbringing and history that we would share with no other person.  This "life lesson" has always stuck with me -- and I hope I can instill it in my sons. 

Back to Fawn and Small Fry -- Fawn loves to make Small Fry smile and laugh, and Small Fry loves the reaction he gets from Fawn when he showers him with smiles and laughs.  This is generally accomplished by Fawn singing a funny song or kissing Small Fry on the cheek.  Too sweet.

Small Fry continues to grow like a weed.  I'm talking most size six month clothes don't fit this kid.  He's so long that when I wear him in the Baby Bjorn his head covers up half of my face so I have to talk around him.  So, we've graduated to the Scootababy side carrier (though Fawn continues to insist that Small Fry likes the Baby Bjorn better -- easy for him to say since he's not the one carrying the baby). 

He's cooing and babbling up a storm and will belly laugh daily.  He is such a happy boy -- when he gets his beauty rest, that is.  I was such a stickler with Fawn in terms of his nap schedule; I still am, though the "exception" days come much more often these days.  I used the ever popular Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book to learn about sleep (highly recommend this book!) -- and implemented the one to two hours of wakefulness with Fawn.  It worked like a charm, and I would love to use it daily for Small Fry as well.  But, it's just not possible with an older child to make sure Small Fry gets each nap "on time".  Poor thing, he's dealing well.  But, is definitely happier on days he gets really good naps.  Just something we will have to deal with until he is a little older and a little more adaptable. 

As for night sleep, if you'd asked me two weeks ago I would have said we were doing great.  Small Fry all of a sudden dropped multiple night wakings and was only waking up once (sometime between 1 am and 3 am).  We've regressed some -- back to two wakings and sometimes an extended period of time awake in the middle of the night.  But, at least I know he has it in him to give me a little more sleep!  So there's a light at the end of the tunnel.  The middle of the night is still precious alone time with my little one so I'll continue to look on the bright side and enjoy the snuggles while they last. 

This month has been a bit of a blur in terms of what we've been up to.  The fever virus hit our house hard -- Fawn was sick for almost a week and got Buck sick too.  It was no fun around here.  Small Fry had a low grade fever for a couple days but seemed to fight it off really well.  I thankfully stayed well (someone had to be the caretaker!) but was exhausted.  One night between Fawn and Small Fry I was woken up eight times between 10 pm and 6 am.  I really shouldn't have even bothered trying to sleep!  I've battled mastitis for the second time with Small Fry (I had it twice with Fawn as well).  No fun -- those of you who have had it know how horrible it is; if you've managed to breastfeed without getting it good for you (and be so thankful).  I know we've done our usual Zoo, Overton Park, Tot Lot,  and Triangle Park; and, I know despite the sickness we've had a really great month.

I can't believe my little angel is three months old.  I think it's the book The Red Tent that says "Time is a mother's enemy."  I feel like time is my enemy right now.  I wish the days would be longer and the weeks go by slower.  While it is tough at times, it is such a joyful time of life.  When I meet my Maker I certainly intend on asking Him why babies have to grow so fast.  I'm sure He has a great reason.